Sex, Death and Resurrection
What Happened Last Week
Drama
I hope the writers on The O.C. know where they’re going with Jeri Ryan’s con artist storyline. So far the woman has paid to falsely enroll herself into the richest rehab in the county and footed the down payment on Julie Cooper-Nicholl’s condo. Can you say worst con artist ever? Also, I am incredibly happy that Eric Mabius’ guest appearance is drawing to a close. I was getting tired of him pointlessly chewing scenery as the Unnecessarily Evil Dean. Dude’s acting is worse than Mischa Barton’s.
Reality
On Survivor Rafe feared that he was part of “the axis of evil” (heh,) but still couldn’t work up the spine to turn on the ugliness that is Stephenie, Judd and Jamie. Yet. And seriously guys, I do hope that he’ll figure it out. It’s just not quite the right time for him to do it. Right now there is an alliance of six, in which Rafe, Lydia and Cindy are clearly at the bottom of the pecking order, versus an alliance of three. If Rafe, Lydia and Cindy jumped ship right now, they wouldn’t have the numbers to be able to control the vote in a newly formed alliance. Let the bullies boot off Bobby Jon and then this will give Rafe, Lydia and Cindy a short window of opportunity where they can turn on Jamie, Judd and Stephenie while still being able to control Gary and Danni’s fate. I think that Rafe and Cindy are both smart enough to see this as being a good maneuver (Lydia, I’m not so sure. It really looks like the lights are on but no one’s home there.) Don’t despair yet fans, the meek still have the opportunity to inherit the Aztec pyramid.
On Donald’s Apprentice, the decimated Excel pulled Randal back over and look! There’s your final four! In order of elimination: Brian, Rebecca, Marshawn and eventual winner Randal. The teams had to create a course for The Learning Annex and Capital Edge’s seminar on Sex at Work (yeah, I know… what?) led to Trump asking Adam if he’s ever had sex before, Trump telling Adam that sex has gotten him into a lot of trouble in the past, Trump telling Adam that in the future Adam will become very comfortable with sex, and Trump telling Clay that the reason there are menus in restaurants is because some people are gay. And I’m so happy that I’m not kidding about that! As far as entertainment value goes, it just doesn’t get much better than this. As far as job interviews go, I’d be mortified to be a candidate.
Comedy
My Name is Earl – The cast in this show (Jason Lee, Ethan Suplee, Jaime Pressly) proves every week that they can walk the fine line between understanding the redneck and mocking the redneck. Being from Belleville, I can tell you that’s not as easy as it looks. When Joy mispronounced Catalina’s name and scoffed the mistake off with a simple “Mmm, potato, tomato,” I nearly cried.
What Happens Next
The West Wing goes live with a head-to-head debate. In Santos versus Vinick I’m really enjoying the whole Republican wish-fulfillment of Arnold Vinick. I’m hoping he wins the election and we get to see a lot more of Alan Alda.
Arrested Development returns for a full hour show after the baseball hiatus. It looks like Tobias may accidentally sell the Bluths out to the CIA. I hope there’s nothing really wrong with Jason Bateman’s throat. He holds this amazing series together.
A racer has trouble swimming on The Amazing Race: Family Edition. Thank god it’s not Carissa!
Over on Veronica Mars Harry Hamlin returns as Aaron Echolls goes on trial for murder. Oh I can’t wait to see how this is going to mess Logan up! Best show on television. Season one DVD is available now, so you’ve really got no excuses.
On Lost, Sawyer’s magical wound will finally get infected. And word is bitchy Shannon will croak.
On Alias newbie-Rachel (who’s kind of a wet blanket, don’t ya think?) goes solo in the field – because she’s so ready for that! And Sloane goes back to being bad. Mia Maestro’s coming back for a guest appearance as Nadia, so they thankfully haven’t forgotten about her. An unmistakable sign of a show slipping in quality is when they start to drop plotlines haphazardly (ahem, ER…) so I’m very happy that Alias will be tying up the loose ends with Nadia’s character. Also, Michael Vartan is scheduled to guest-star sometime soon this season. While I’m trying to hold out hope that Vaughn is in fact not dead, I really don’t think the producers at Alias would let US Weekly get a hold of pictures of his return if they didn’t plan to punk us all with some stupid dream sequence in which Vaughn appears. Bitches.
Drama
I hope the writers on The O.C. know where they’re going with Jeri Ryan’s con artist storyline. So far the woman has paid to falsely enroll herself into the richest rehab in the county and footed the down payment on Julie Cooper-Nicholl’s condo. Can you say worst con artist ever? Also, I am incredibly happy that Eric Mabius’ guest appearance is drawing to a close. I was getting tired of him pointlessly chewing scenery as the Unnecessarily Evil Dean. Dude’s acting is worse than Mischa Barton’s.
Reality
On Survivor Rafe feared that he was part of “the axis of evil” (heh,) but still couldn’t work up the spine to turn on the ugliness that is Stephenie, Judd and Jamie. Yet. And seriously guys, I do hope that he’ll figure it out. It’s just not quite the right time for him to do it. Right now there is an alliance of six, in which Rafe, Lydia and Cindy are clearly at the bottom of the pecking order, versus an alliance of three. If Rafe, Lydia and Cindy jumped ship right now, they wouldn’t have the numbers to be able to control the vote in a newly formed alliance. Let the bullies boot off Bobby Jon and then this will give Rafe, Lydia and Cindy a short window of opportunity where they can turn on Jamie, Judd and Stephenie while still being able to control Gary and Danni’s fate. I think that Rafe and Cindy are both smart enough to see this as being a good maneuver (Lydia, I’m not so sure. It really looks like the lights are on but no one’s home there.) Don’t despair yet fans, the meek still have the opportunity to inherit the Aztec pyramid.
On Donald’s Apprentice, the decimated Excel pulled Randal back over and look! There’s your final four! In order of elimination: Brian, Rebecca, Marshawn and eventual winner Randal. The teams had to create a course for The Learning Annex and Capital Edge’s seminar on Sex at Work (yeah, I know… what?) led to Trump asking Adam if he’s ever had sex before, Trump telling Adam that sex has gotten him into a lot of trouble in the past, Trump telling Adam that in the future Adam will become very comfortable with sex, and Trump telling Clay that the reason there are menus in restaurants is because some people are gay. And I’m so happy that I’m not kidding about that! As far as entertainment value goes, it just doesn’t get much better than this. As far as job interviews go, I’d be mortified to be a candidate.
Comedy
My Name is Earl – The cast in this show (Jason Lee, Ethan Suplee, Jaime Pressly) proves every week that they can walk the fine line between understanding the redneck and mocking the redneck. Being from Belleville, I can tell you that’s not as easy as it looks. When Joy mispronounced Catalina’s name and scoffed the mistake off with a simple “Mmm, potato, tomato,” I nearly cried.
What Happens Next
The West Wing goes live with a head-to-head debate. In Santos versus Vinick I’m really enjoying the whole Republican wish-fulfillment of Arnold Vinick. I’m hoping he wins the election and we get to see a lot more of Alan Alda.
Arrested Development returns for a full hour show after the baseball hiatus. It looks like Tobias may accidentally sell the Bluths out to the CIA. I hope there’s nothing really wrong with Jason Bateman’s throat. He holds this amazing series together.
A racer has trouble swimming on The Amazing Race: Family Edition. Thank god it’s not Carissa!
Over on Veronica Mars Harry Hamlin returns as Aaron Echolls goes on trial for murder. Oh I can’t wait to see how this is going to mess Logan up! Best show on television. Season one DVD is available now, so you’ve really got no excuses.
On Lost, Sawyer’s magical wound will finally get infected. And word is bitchy Shannon will croak.
On Alias newbie-Rachel (who’s kind of a wet blanket, don’t ya think?) goes solo in the field – because she’s so ready for that! And Sloane goes back to being bad. Mia Maestro’s coming back for a guest appearance as Nadia, so they thankfully haven’t forgotten about her. An unmistakable sign of a show slipping in quality is when they start to drop plotlines haphazardly (ahem, ER…) so I’m very happy that Alias will be tying up the loose ends with Nadia’s character. Also, Michael Vartan is scheduled to guest-star sometime soon this season. While I’m trying to hold out hope that Vaughn is in fact not dead, I really don’t think the producers at Alias would let US Weekly get a hold of pictures of his return if they didn’t plan to punk us all with some stupid dream sequence in which Vaughn appears. Bitches.
posted by nerdifer at 5:35 p.m.
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