Shocker

It was a dour week filled with shockers on television. But where’s my funny?

What Happened Last Week

Drama

Bree watching George die after finding out the psychopath had killed cool Rex was the best thing Desperate Housewives has done all season. Also, Bree continues to be the only thing keeping me coming back to the show. The rest of the housewives takes on flighty, manipulative and bitchy are downright cringe-worthy. But Marcia Cross? I applaud her.

Meg is awake and pregnant (!) on Veronica Mars. I’m guessing that Duncan assumes it’s his child, given that he’s been pining away at the door of her intensive care unit for months now. But I… just don’t think it’s Duncan’s. Nothing in Neptune is that simple.

Kate’s flashback was actually good for a change on Lost! Started with a bang, ended with a door slam, made her go all crazy and stuff on Nonsense Island, making out with Jack, stammering, seeing pretty horses. I always thought that Kate’s flashback sequences were the worst on the show (seriously? The toy plane? Ugh.) So now I’m much happier with Lost than I have been in weeks. But can we get some more of Charlie anytime soon please?

Reality

The Donald Apprentice seemed rigged to me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would have been mighty, mighty disappointed if Randal and Rebecca hadn’t been the final two. But to fire both Felisha and Alla? Seemed a little unnecessary to me.

Okay, the Weavers have had this coming for a long time. I’m sick and tired of hearing them complain that the other teams are being “so rude” to them. What is their definition of rude, exactly? Does it include making fun of garbage men simply because of their occupation? Sniping nastily that another team will only spend the prize money on boob jobs? Yelling and hollering on an overnight bus trip while others are trying to sleep? Asking a tour guide to hold up teams behind you? Ducking down and sneering while other teams drive by? How about throwing garbage at another team?? Does any of that seem rude to them? And what the hell is wrong with Mother Weaver? She is totally incapable of parenting her children. She never asks them to tone down their behaviour when they are being inappropriate. She just tells them the whole world outside of the Weavers is evil and rude and then buys them McDonald’s. GOD!

What Happens Next

The West Wing, Arrested Development, Kitchen Confidential and Alias all return this week! YAY! Michael Vartan and David Anders back on my television! Oh how I’ve missed them! Also on Alias, Jack (SpyDaddy) and an ex-lover get captured. By whom? I do not know.

A housewife will be heading to prison shortly. The obvious guess would be Bree, but remember last year when they teased us with the “someone’s going to prison” and everyone assumed it would be Bree’s homicidal son Andrew and it ended up being Carlos? I’m hoping that Bree won’t be wearing the orange jumpsuit any time in the future.

Someone’s going to die on Veronica Mars. And given that Francis Capra won’t be playing out the full season on the show, my guess is that the wonderful Weevil (who has been woefully lacking this season anyway,) will be dearly departing soon.